Addendum to First Mates Log: I am NEVER going back to Norsca

End of Vorhexen, probably. Who cares, anyway?

In this addendum I'll go through some of my experiences in Norsca. It is not intended as a First Mates Log of The Urchins doings, as she was elsewhere. This also excuses the rambling style and language.

Norsca is a fucked up place. Period. The feel of the land is horrible, it gnaws at your soul. Everything is messed ut, when it is not fucking freezing it is a magic infested swamp, and a full amputee can count its redeeming factors on his fingers.

We are in Norsca, and since we are in Norsca we need sled wolves and sleds. Also we are in a swamp. Don't ask, and I won't whine. Moving sleds through waist-deep is heavy going, and unpleasant. But it is Norsca, so that is probably what the best guides written about it say. 

Norsca: unpleasant. I went so you don't have to. Just stay the fuck further to the south. If noone has written that guide, I'll do it when I get back to civilization. Actually, I just wrote it, so only the publishing remains. Does not really need any illustrations either, snow is still white, just whiiiiiiiiiite. Imagine it.

Where was I? Yes, swamp with sleds and wolves. It goes on. Unpleasant is pretty permanent. But wait, there is more. Almost everyone gets sick, and starts puking their guts out. So they can't help with the sled. It's Norsca, so this shit is probably mandatory.

And since it is Norsca the mage ges an urge to go further into the swamp, where someone named, extremely surprisingly, Malice, is waiting. You can't make this shit up. Anyway, it is decided by Johanna that we won't go into the swamp. Hey, it is Norsca, how can someone named Malice be anything but good news?

And then Eldur feels the winds (not the good winds, the other winds) being manipulated with enormous power. Wonderful news. An insanely large chasm shows up across our path. It is the craziest thing I have ever seen. The water (or swamp, it does not really deserve to be called water) has been cut in two. Manan, blessed be him, could surely do the same thing, but who else? Eldur actually manages remove / dispel / fuck up the magic, so the chasm disappears, while burning like a huge torch. Very very very impressive, but I am really glad we're not at sea. Manan would not have liked this. Or perhaps he would, as he repaired the water. 

Lo and behold, this lets us keep on pulling our sleds through water. Norsca just keeps on giving. At night, in a very nice camp found by Torgils we are attacked by 4 Fimir. Because sleds in swamps were not enough. Eldur traps 2 of them with a spell, we finish the other 2 fairly quickly. One of the two last charges me and hits, I swear I thought he took my right arm at the shoulder. But the arm stays on. Norsca must have been snoozing, that arm should have stayed up here.

Guess what is even worse than pulling your sled through the swamp? Pulling your sled through the swamp, with a right arm that hurts like hell and is only in the way. I guess Norsca is compensating for the mistake with the arm. And then we wind up in a fog. And suddenly we are in the middle of the swamp. I suspect the reason is Norsca. In the middle of the swamp there is a huge pyramid, and more Fimir. Come oooon...

The Fimir push us towards the top, because (Norsca!!) at the top is Malice. So that is where we are going. She is beckoning Eldur towards her, Sunniva comes as well. They are gone for 10 minutes, and come back reporting that they have seen their destinies. Also we have to (like absolutely must) complete a mission for her, but if we accept she will instantly transport us to the other side of the swamp.

The mission is to go further North (seriously, WHAT IS THIS?), to get the remains of Malice's sister who died in a battle 2800 years ago, and return them to her. If we don't she will quote 'take our souls'. This sounds like the bargain of the century. It can only get better from now on, right?

At least she opens a portal that gets us away from the swamp, and into the ice desert again. Which I guess is ok. And then Sunniva kills Valmir, straight out of the blue. I don't even know where to start, except that whenever you think that it just can't get worse, Norsca will prove you wrong. Norsca: unpleasant. Get your copy here.

So, to restate: the blonde little lunatic just attacks a hired hand. Without telling anyone. With no orders. And afterwards our leader explains that she understands, but you can't do that without a discussion first. In no particular order: anyone who does something as dumb as that gets the lash. It was a huge risk to everyone. If they really should have known better (Sunniva seems really unhinged and rash, so she is not in this category) they get the noose. That the situation is horrible and stressful makes it WORSE. A sailor who abandons his post IN A STORM is much more dangerous than one who leaves in the calm.

That Sunniva is so unstable makes it the leaders responsibility to drill the right behaviour into her. It is not to be understood that she did it. I can understand anyone who shit their pants in a hurricane, but it is in no way, shape or form reason to shirk duty, so I can never say anything that means I accept the shirking: the fear and impulse to bolt must be suppressed. And in a small group in fuckin Norsca it is exactly the same. And I'm stuck up here with this bunch of more or less loose cannons.

To wit: there could not have been a discussion beforehand, Valmir could have overheard and made off with my good friend the sled. However, any fight that can be avoided should be avoided, you never know who get's badly hurt. And if you can start it when the object is sleeping then do that. Like seriously, I think this was some of the dumbest shit I've seen since that coward second mate of the Lioness (ironic name) crashed her INTO the quay to avoid the Norse raiders, and then the captain promoted him to first mate, since the first mate was killed by the same raiders.

And then, after even more time in the wonderful Norscan winter, we have to decide whether we think Malice is all sweetness (I think not), if her mission is survivable (who knows?), if she is going to do something terrible with the stuff she wants (hey, Norsca??), if she will uphold her bargain (weeelll?) and if she can kill us at a distance. I think we make the right decision to just not do it, and head west. Personally I think she will let us know before killing us, so we might as well go for the tablet and skip her mission. If we start feeling like we are getting killed we can change course, no?

So we go west.